Holy Moly!

.



Monday Night's Alright For Dining

Tue, 19/10/2010 - 10:34 By Jimmy Hill

AIDS is a nice, worthy cause isn't it? You don't tend to see the old ladies wandering around the pubs on a friday, jangling their buckets (not a metaphor) for it though, do you? That's because Elton John and his celebrity charity cabal have made it so only they collect for it, and if anyone tries to muscle in on their turf they get Diana'd. That's right, 9/11 was an inside job.

Last nights event, as you hopefully guessed from the long and almost entirely meaningless intro, was held by Elton John at Cipriani Wall Street for the disease known as AIDS. Aside from playing some of his favourite tunes, Elton also sold CNN's Anderson Cooper in some kind of complicated human trafficking deal, where Dreamworks founder Jeffrey Katzenberg now owns three quarters of Anderson's left lung and can use it whenever he wants.

Alonside the Tiny Dancer and his boyf David Furnish were Tony Bennet, who came already half zipped in a black body bag, Ivanka, the only member of the Trump family that doesn't look like recycled toilet paper, Christina Ricci, Debbie Harry and Nikki Haskell.

Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness also turned up, and while it might be a bit unfair to have a dig at an entirely innoffensive couple, is it just us or is there a major discrepancy looks-wise in that marriage?

We're bastards. We know