March 20, 2008
Scandaltown = What REALLY caused Anderson Cooper’s facial disfiguration???
Posted by missjaneleo under Dreamboat, Hilarity, Politics, TV
The Associated Press is reporting that CNN’s Anderson Cooper recently had a cancerous mole removed from below his left eye, which would explain the red mark visible on his face over the past week. It WOULD, that is, if you BUY that story. I have a few other ideas. A list of possible (and I would argue, probable) causes of this facial sore:
- ♣ mountain lion mauling
♣ night terror + unkempt fingernails = inch-long face gash
♣ bagel-slicing mishap
♣ terrorist act
♣ counter-terrorist act
♣ fisticuffs with Larry King, backstage after the latter’s interview with Janet Jackson (nasty boys)
♣ rusty razor malfunction
♣ disastrous eye-lift plastic surgery scarring
♣ strategic distraction tactic to make viewers forget about his “conflict of interest on gay issues”? (Americans For Truth, you terrify me, btw)
♣ well-meaning but ill-executed attempt at increasing his rugged good looks (scars work for Seal, right?)
shiny as the nighttime stars.
Silver fox, indeed.
Alternatives to which I could add:
- ♣ Caught between 2 drag queens fighting for him.
♣ Caught between 2 hunky guys fighting for him.
♣ Anderson's first (and only) scratch while reporting about heavy winds during a hurricane.
♣ A spider bit him while sleeping in a tent the night before his interview with President Obama in Kenya.
♣ Smeared makeup.
♣ Contrary to his explanation, he did have a fight with Charlie Rose.
♣ Jeff Corwin used him in another of his demonstrations about poisonous tree needles.
Silver look alike
Gorgeous to the soul