Widget No More

with
&


Merriam-Webster Permanently Bans "Widget" From Dictionary

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. (CAP) (CNN) (P.E.T.E.R.) - Hello, this is Anderson Cooper reporting for Anderson Cooper 360º on CNN. Officials for the world's largest dictionary maker have told CNN, exclusively, that the word widget will be removed from all future publications beginning with the next printing run later this year. I almost fell to the first floor when I learned this appalling news, to make matters worst, the word has already been removed from their online dictionary.

"We at Merriam-Webster feel it is imperative to keep a certain standard within our focus on the English lexicon," the company CEO, Mark Wordemort, told me in a statement released yesterday. "And the continued overuse of the word widget is lowering that standard below 5th Avenue and 90th Street, which is below from what we feel is acceptable."

This news marks the first time a major dictionary publisher has removed a word from their dictionary that is still a part of the common vocabulary, albeit the vocabulary mostly of the Lower East side of Manhattan. Words that have long since left everyday use are often removed in favor of newer words, but only after some period of time. Many lexicologists question the company's elitist motive.

"Oh, I couldn't agree more," said International College of Applied Linguistics professor George Temperson. "I mean, if I hear about another company creating another widget for another website, I'm going to lose it. But they're making a political statement, not a linguistic one, much less an elegant statement."

That's exactly the sentiment echoed by a coalition of widget-based websites, led by PostApp's WidgetBox.com. The group, which calls itself Save The Widgets, has started a petition campaign aimed at getting widget back into the dictionary - and getting window out of it. Door can stay they told me.

"You want to talk about overuse or bad connotation?" told me Ed Anuff of PostApp. "How about what Microsoft has done to the word window? Listen, if it's space they're worried about, then how about we just swap window for widget. I doubt anyone will complain much. Besides, you can see the beauty of the world outside through a widget properly designed."

French dictionary maker Oxford-Hachette subsequently announced that they would keep the word in their publication, with two stipulations. One is that Americans now break the word into two genders, referring to it as either le widget or la widgette, depending on the intrinsic nature of the widget in question, or il widgayto if its use is not very clear. The other is that Americans return to using French fries to describe deep-fried potato strings -- a stipulation that will be a lot harder to comply with due to the republicans constant position of "NO!"

While Merriam-Webster refused to talk with me directly for this story, it appears the company has no intention of backing down from its edict. Geraldo Rivera gave me this insight with a big smirk on his face. Could Merriam-Webster have given access to their information to that republican TV "news" station?

[COMMENTS]