British Petroleum

Is your pet, living or not, happy or sad? Ask psychic



By David Zizzo
Published: June 4, 2009

I have discovered something shocking: I’m psychic. Not the kind of psychic where dead people help you solve crimes or the kind where you can look into the future and determine if people will meet someone special or take a trip but not pick winning lottery numbers or hot stocks.

I’m psychic like Sonya Fitzpatrick, the pet psychic who talks with TV personalities in the traditional audible way while communicating with pets in that other way.

"She doesn’t feel she gets enough variety,” Sonya told CNN’s Anderson Cooper his dog just revealed to her. "She’d like a little bit of chicken. She also likes cheese.”

After receiving eerily similar communications from my own dogs, I have come to realize that I too have the gift. Just the other night, my German shepherd communicated to me her displeasure over the dry cuisine I offered her, and I somehow knew that she would prefer something from the poultry or dairy portion of the food pyramid.

Psychic vibes I receive from my other dog, a mutt of unknown lineage and unexplained self-confidence, come through even clearer. For instance, I instantly know exactly when he wants to go out for his daily run. Maybe it’s telepathic canine energy he aims my way or some cosmic tweet he sends over nature’s wireless network, but when he glares at me as if I were a cheese-dipped drumstick, shrieks and makes a flying leap at my midsection, I somehow know it’s time.

If you do not have the gift, don’t worry. Fitzpatrick will perform a half-hour "personal reading” of your pet, alive or not, for $300. Ten dollars a minute is steep, but it’s worth that to find out if your pet is happy or sad, is afraid of balloons or likes bacon grease. Or maybe has some message he wants to pass on to his master.

What’s that, fella? Buy British Petroleum? Good boy.

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