Line by Line, Kathy and Cooper

Do Anderson Cooper and CNN need a “safe word?”

By Jamie McIntyre
Friday, January 1st, 2010 -- 11:21 am

Okay, so looking at it the most positive light, CNN New Years “coverage” from Times square, was edgy, and fun, even if it did produce some cringeworthy moments, notably when pottymouthed comedienne Kathy Griffin, reading questions supposedly submitted by viewers via twitter, asked Anderson Cooper what his “safe word” is?

“I don’t even know what that means,” the ultra-​​hip Cooper replied, obviously deciding the safe course was to play dumb.

“I think you’re going to need it later. You might want to pick one,” quipped Griffin.

CNN execs knew just what to expect from Kathy Griffin, a very funny, and edgy comic whose shtick involves pushing the envelope with other celebrities. In fact CNN’s legal eagles issued her a written warning that if she stepped over the propriety line, she would have to forfeit her night’s pay.

This, of course, was just grist for more shtick, as Griffin proceed to flout the admonition, and move right to the inappropriate banter, which is after all is why she was there.

CNN wasn’t covering the New Year’s party in Times Square — it was putting on its own, and what’s a good New Year’s party without a few out-​​of-​​line party guests?

At one point Kathy read a “tweet” from a viewer that said, ” Anderson, how do you not just stare in the mirror all day and pleasure yourself because you’re so gorgeous?”

At this point Anderson was beginning to look a little green around the gills, and began joking about sending out resumes for a new job in the morning.

CNN has yet to post the video highlights of the broadcast on its popular web page, so I’m guessing CNN’s lawyers have yet to sign off. I mean they can’t make Kathy give back her honorarium if they love the clips so much they post them on their web site.

Meanwhile over on CNN’s sister service, the channel formerly known as Headline News, now just “HLN,” they were counting down the most provocative celebrity of 2009.

Welcome to a media world that will only get crazier in the new decade, and you can pretty much blame it on the Internet. I know I risk sounding like a Journosaurus Rex, but this is just not the same CNN that Ted Turner founded in 1980. The blogosphere, web news, twitter, have all made what CNN used to do when I first joined the network obsolete, namely concentrate on straight reporting of mostly serious news. But CNN remains a very successful brand, and there probably is a place for frivolity even at a serious news organization. In the Internet age, news organizations have to adapt of dire, and CNN is adapting.

I’m reminded of the prophetic message Samuel Morse sent over the first telegraph link from Washington to Baltimore in 1844, when the telegraph was about to revolutionize the news business, “What hath God wrought?”

Happy New Year!

More quotes from CNN’s New Year’s Snarkin’ Eve:

COOPER: I’m here with, of course, Kathy Griffin.
GRIFFIN: I’m here with NOT Ryan Seacrest.

GRIFFIN: All right, who is some dude named Rick Davis, or Davis?
COOPER: He’s the Standards and Practices guy here at CNN. And hopefully you won’t hear from him.
GRIFFIN: Oh, he’s probably drunk.

COOPER: Gary Tuchman is in Central Park with a lot of other New Yorkers who are actually…
GRIFFIN: Gary what man?
COOPER: Tuchman.
GRIFFIN: Gary Tuchman. That almost sounds like…
COOPER: Oh no, throw this letter away.

GRIFFIN: Ok. Do you know where Lou Dobbs body is buried and why did you get him fired?
COOPER: You know, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about that.
GRIFFIN: Your honor, I rest my case. Oh, I know. What is your Jersey Shore name?
COOPER: I have not seen Jersey Shore, this TV show. I saw it on the suit…
GRIFFIN: Even Amanpour has seen Jersey Shore

GRIFFIN: You got very like newsy and squinty there. Have you ever considered just buying sunglasses? Just once, one time.
COOPER: I have had this line since I was 10 years old.
GRIFFIN: I don’t have it anymore, you know what I’m saying. I paid a lot of money to have that line go away. How dare you? Go ahead with your fake news.

GRIFFIN: I’m trying to not get you fired because — although I think Nancy Grace would do very well in your time slot.
COOPER: I’m sure she would.
GRIFFIN: Does she kick your butt in the numbers area, I bet she does?
COOPER: I don’t — yes, you know, up and down we go back and forth.
GRIFFIN: Do you ever cover anyone named Caylee or Haylee?

COOPER: Susan Boyle.
GRIFFIN: Love her or him.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: I don’t put her on a box. I don’t judge like you.
COOPER: Come on.
GRIFFIN: I love her. I have some CD.
COOPER: Come on.
GRIFFIN: Ok. I see myself in a lesbian three-​​way with her…
COOPER: All right, that’s enough.

GRIFFIN: Anderson, how do you not just stare in the mirror all day and pleasure yourself because you’re so gorgeous?
COOPER: Ok. Good night, everyone. Thank you very much. We’ll be — thank you. Thank you very much. I’ll be sending out my resume tomorrow.
GRIFFIN: I’m hiring a new receptionist. Good luck.