Who keeps his hair so neat and clean? Does he travel with a manicurist and pedicurist to maintain his hand nails so even and clean -- and I assume, if he has to remove his shoes upon entrance back in the U.S.A., he would have to show his toes, and messy toes and nails would not be a very good sight for anyone present, especially if they carry cameras!
And although I believe in magical (and other) fairies, I would assume that he'd need the help of more than faeries to keep him sparkly clean. He'll need the help of a few other (lucky) mere mortals to keep him looking nice and clean even in the middle of an impossible situation like the jungles of Brazil, the mud slides of Sri Lanka, Katrina's torrential rains and winds, and now the tragedy of Haiti.
Anderson is an enigma and I would like to find out some of his most mundane secrets. I'll keep you posted.
Alvord: Horror strikes us dumb -- some dumber than others
Column by Rick S. Alvord / Sports Editor | Posted: Saturday, January 16, 2010 -- 11:45 pm
My first reaction to the television news coverage of the disaster in Haiti was this: How many of those form-fitting dark T-shirts does CNN's Anderson Cooper own, anyway?
I often allow such trivial details to saunter through my weighted-down mind when something this painful is playing out in high-definition color.
When 9/11 occurred, I was glued to the television for several hours — then went golfing.
Although it did not occur in my country, the Haitian earthquake stopped me in my tracks. They say the death toll could reach a quarter-million. That's roughly the population of Cowlitz, Lewis and Mason counties, combined.
This is where I should write something profound, like how sad the whole thing is, how a pathetically poor country is being picked on by Mother Nature like a classroom bully.
This is where I should attempt to describe the sadness, the sorrow, the horrific pictures of death, destruction and chaos.
Why even try?
Some of it you have to see for yourself to comprehend. The pictures of the children caused my face to droop, my eyes to water. One little girl, in particular, wandered down a dusty street in search of her mother and brother.
Her plight was snipped down to a 10-second sound bite.
There was footage of dead bodies on street corners, 15-day-old babies with head wounds and families with everything they owned stashed into a child's pink backpack.
And there was Anderson Cooper's shirt.
What has gripped me in recent days is the reaction to the devastation. Our president, a smorgasbord of problems already decorating his plate, pledged millions in relief. He sent the military to maintain order and to help distribute food and water.
Rush Limbaugh, a very bright man with millions of radio listeners every day, responded by accusing the president of using the disaster for political gain.
"Everything this president sees is a political opportunity, including Haiti, and he will use it to burnish his credentials with minorities in this country and around the world, and to accuse Republicans of having no compassion," said Limbaugh, who was soundly criticized for his comments, but has not apologized.
He went on to say the president would use quake relief to gain credibility with the "light-skinned and dark-skinned black community," and said "the U.S. military is now Meals on Wheels. It always is with Democrat presidents."
It's easy to see why Limbaugh is having heart problems. His has been replaced by empty space.
But nonsensical reactions don't distinguish between political parties. Actor Danny Glover, a Hollywood liberal who probably should stick to making movies, said the earthquake was caused by global warming.
Yes, and so was the Seahawks' 5-11 record and the breakup of Jon and Kate.
Televangelist Pat Robertson, who once ran for president on the Republican ticket (I actually considered voting for him way back then), proposed on his "700 Club" show that the 7.0 magnitude quake was a result of a "pact with the devil" made by the "cursed" island nation to free itself from chattel slavery imposed by the French.
Robertson also blamed 9/11 on the ACLU, People For The American Way and gay people. He is an extremist. He is not representative of most Christians. It's time to recognize him for what he is — a senile fool who should keep his mouth shut about disasters, natural or otherwise.
So who's to blame, Mr. Robertson, when a tornado levels a church in Kansas? Also the devil?
When earthquakes, tsunamis and twisters strike, we take notice. The power of the earth and why it does the things it does makes us scratch our heads in amazement.
Some of us respond by donating five or 10 bucks to a relief fund to help the victims. Some would rather point fingers and say stupid things into microphones.
No one is to blame for the earthquake. Not the Haitian government and certainly not its people.
Sometimes the classroom bully wins out.
Rick S. Alvord is sports editor of The Daily News. He can be reached at ralvord@tdn.com
2 Comments
owlcreekcats said on: January 17, 2010, 10:09 am
Thank you for writing exactly what I've been thinking. If at one time Pat Robinson truly was a Christian man, he's forgotten it. And his poor attempt of an excuse is just that...an excuse. Rush Limbaugh, who constantly has diarrhea of the mouth, is an insult to our country. The man needs to be stopped!
PeterGay said on: January 17, 2010, 05:15 pm
I agree with you, Rick, Mr Robinson and that Rush asshole need to be muffled and sent to a far away island (Haiti would be too close for comfort), and left there to pray to their god to come rescue them. If their god doesn't come to the rescue it must be a punishment for the pact they made with the devil to make them rich and famous. Good riddance.
But I have a question for you. Did you find out how many form-fitting, faded, dark T-shirts does Anderson Cooper own? I have wondered that myself.
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