Sunday, August 14, 2011


Al-Qaeda Summer Camp



With
&


Slots Still Open For Al Qaeda Summer Camp






One of the Camp Fatah counselors asks the CAP News photographer to wait before snapping a picture, but we didn't. We were escorted off the property shortly thereafter.






CASAS ADOBES, Ariz. (CAP) (CNN) (P.E.T.E.R.) - Hello, this is Anderson Cooper reporting for Anderson Cooper 360° on CNN. There may not be much time left for summer vacation, but there's still plenty of time to sign your child up for a week of Al-Qaeda Summer Camp. With 14 locations around the country, the AQSC program is the perfect opportunity to add some zing to your child's summer before it's over.

"This is the best summer I ever had," said 13-year-old Ryan Donnelly as he stuffed nails into a pipe and screwed on a cap to finish a project for his Arts & Crafts class. "I thought I'd miss all my old friends from back home, but I totally made a ton of new ones to replace them." His dad requested anonymity which we totally understand and we try to provide it whenever possible -- even when we say "absolutely."

"I can't wait for jihad and s'mores around the campfire tomorrow night," Donnelly Jr. added. "It's gonna be awesome!"

Nestled in the quaint nature preserve of Tohono Chul Park, Camp Fatah is one of three such al-Qaeda summer camps in the southwest U.S. and by far the largest. With an annual enrollment topping 400 eager youths, Camp Fatah boasts one counselor for every three campers, whose ages range from 10 to 17. The counselors agree: it's all about the children... "...and the bombs." One of the counselors whispered in my ear, kind of reluctantly. Mr. Ahmed Dina bin-Jahd (not his real name) [wink] requested, as I thought he would, anonymity. To which I said "absolutely."

"This is an investment in the future of these precious children," said Camp Fatah director Emu Mushi al-Kuholik. "The banner of Islam will necessarily be raised when the land is watered with the blood of these young martyrs.

"Oh, and we strongly recommend all the kids take our dutch oven cooking course," added al-Kuholik. "Our campers won three ribbons at the county cook-off last year! And not a single racoon went missing."

In all, there are 42 different activities from which to choose at an AQSC, including classics such as Capture The Flag, Water Balloon Toss and Leatherworking, along with more modern AQSC offerings such as Suicide Suitcase Relay, Duck Duck Boom and Crowded Marketplace Musical Chairs.

"This is my daughter Kaitlin's second year at AQSC," said mother Heather Dagnon of Tucson. The anonymity clause was obviously inferred. "She loves it and doesn't even want to come home anymore, she's having so much fun taking out her angry issues during stabbing practice. She says she can't wait until they start using a real card-box cutter to practice.

"Well, that's what her counselors tell me," added Dagnon. "I haven't actually talked to Kaitlin in about three weeks and my letters are being returned unopened - but I know she's having a blast!"

As AQSC's flagship program, Camp Fatah offers more than most of the other AQSC locations. While all campers spend the full night for their stay, next year camp officials plan to experiment with a daycamp option for children as young as five who may have difficulty separating from their parents. Counselors say after one week at Camp Fatah, those fears are gone, along with most of the love they felt for their infidel parents.

Parents wishing to enroll their child in an AQSC program should contact the specific camp's main office directly. Only those children who attend at least a week of Al-Qaeda Summer Camp are eligible for the Semester Overseas Program in Afghanistan this fall.

Tune in next week when we'll be sending, however kicking and screaming, Wolf Blitzer to Afghanistan to report directly from one of these camps.

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