Piers: I Want To Be Loved Like Anderson

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Piers Morgan Wants Entire Show Makeover to Compete with Anderson Cooper

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Written by Charpa93

Piers Morgan has told producers of his new show Piers Morgan Tonight that he'd like to conduct his interviews standing up and has asked for a complete set makeover to accommodate the change.

Ever since Morgan got a prime time slot on CNN's evening lineup of news shows, he's fancied himself the only reason CNN hasn't yet folded. There is just one other show that he says rivals his and that is Anderson Cooper 360.

"They are calling him provocative and raw," says Morgan. "I can agree with the raw, but provocative? That's something they should be calling me, not Cooper."

In order to compete with such stiff competition, Piers Morgan is asking that he be allowed to conduct his entire show standing up. In addition, Morgan wants to go "on assignment" like Cooper. "Sitting at a desk across from people of note is just not enough to keep people interested in my program," said Morgan.

"I need to be standing up, wearing a flak jacket and screaming over rockets to conduct my interviews. Only then will I be considered in the same league as Cooper as a journalist." Morgan is also said to be a bit miffed at Cooper's latest broadcasts from Japan where he [Cooper] gets to show off his personal radiation monitoring device. "How cool would my interviews be if I whipped out one of those?" asked Morgan.

So far, there's no word from CNN whether they will honor Morgan's requests. Morgan claims that last time he had Charlie Sheen on his show, he ran the idea past Sheen and got a big thumbs up. "Charlie told me that he's totally down with being interviewed in the middle of the Afghan desert with missiles flying everywhere," said Morgan. "So why we aren't just taking off with my ideas, I don't know."

One last request Morgan has and which CNN has taken under consideration is to have Dr. Sanjay Gupta regularly appear on Piers Morgan Tonight as a medical consultant just like he does alongside Anderson Cooper. "I mean really," said Morgan. "Can you imagine how much better my interviews with Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan would be if I had Dr. Gupta explaining what the hell they were even talking about?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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