Anderson? CIA? Spy? Reporter? Lover?

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...All Of The Above!

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MARCH 27, 2010 -- 1:23 AM

Is Anderson Cooper CIA?

Ever wonder how Anderson Cooper gets to those war and disaster ravaged regions so quickly? I mean whether it's Indonesian Tsunamis, Katrina, Indian Earthquakes or oppression by the Burmese (Myanmar) government, Cooper just always seems to be the first person on the ground. How did he get to the Airport outside Port-Au-Prince before US troops? Helicopter from the Florida Keys? The only logical answer is that he is a CIA agent, planted in the corporate media to become the next media icon after Wolf Blitzer dies. I checked out Anderson Cooper on Wikipedia, and while it doesn't mention whether or not the CIA hired him out of Yale, it does mention a peculiar anecdote from the Rwandan Genocide:

On the side of the road [Cooper] came across five bodies that had been in the sun for several days. The skin of a woman's hand was peeling off like a glove. Revealing macabre fascination, Cooper whipped out his disposable camera and took a closeup photograph for his personal album. As he did, someone took a photo of him. Later that person showed Cooper the photo, saying, "You need to take a look at what you were doing." "And that's when I realized I've got to stop, [...] I've got to report on some state fairs or a beauty pageant or something, to just, like, remind myself of some perspective."

Maybe he just likes looking at dead bodies.