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Creationists: Ancient Skeletons Show God Has 'Sense Of Humor'

SOUTH AFRICA (CAP) (CNN) (P.E.T.E.R.) - Hello, this is Anderson Cooper reporting for Anderson Cooper 360º from South Africa where I just finished filming a segment for 60 Minutes about swimming with sharks, now get this: without the protection of a cage. Yes, I said "without a cage," you might say that's a stupid thing to do, well, it is, but 60 Minutes paid me plenty to do it, besides, I thought, if I get eaten by a shark and its all being filmed, Benjamin would inherit a priceless piece of video for YouTube. How about that, huh? But on to the news of the hour.

There has been a discovery apparently of two 1.9 million-year-old fossils by paleontologists in South Africa, this is just the latest example of God's creativity in placing skeletons of creatures that didn't exist into the Earth's crust when he created it about 6,000 years ago, creationists say, not me, I'm not that stupid. Sharks without a cage for lots of money, yes. Skeletons in the closet... well, ahem... that's temporarily, we'll see.

"It really is something," said anonymously Bob Henderson of the Institute for Creation Research, just don't mention his name. "This is how much care God took in creating the Earth - He included an amazing diversity of fossils representing ancient humans and other creatures that never existed, just to keep us guessing."

"Oh, that wacky deity," said anonymous Henderson.

But creationists, who believe the planet's species were each designed specifically by God rather than having developed gradually over millions of years through evolution, have different explanations as to the existence of the fossil record. As if anybody, except Sarah Palin and the tea baggers would believe them.

"The most obvious explanation is that He placed them there to test our faith, and that those who believe them to be evidence that humans descended from apes will burn in eternal hellfire," said Mr. "anonymous" Henderson. "But it also shows how He had a sense of humor. I mean have you seen some of those old skeletons? They're hilarious." I giggled at him, not the skeletons.

I asked Mr. A. Henderson about scientists' assertions that the newly discovered skeletons represent a link between apes and early humans, he just shook his head and said, "Scientists! We haven't agreed with them on anything since the last Ice Age movie came out."

I then asked about the fossils' discovery while at a Tea Party rally in Sheboygan, Wisc., republican top lier head Sarah Palin pooh-poohed scientists' attempt to insist that they "you know, mean something."

"Hey scientists - how's that naturally-selectiony thing workin' out for ya?" she asked. "Personally I don't know how anyone can believe in the theory that human beings like myself could have come from a creature with such a small brain," she added, apparently without irony.

"I'm not so sure about those waddayacallem atoms, either," said Palin.

The new discovery adds fuel to an ongoing fire about how creationists explain evidence of early man and creatures like dinosaurs. But Henderson denied his group's views were controversial, noting that the Bible mentions beasts like "behemoths" that could have been large reptiles.

"They lived right alongside man, and their fossils just seem millions of years old because they probably got shifted around in the soil when God laughed or sneezed or something," said Henderson. "I'm just saying."

In response to the creationists' reaction to the discovery of the new skeletons, prominent atheists Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens all appeared on comedian and commentator Bill Maher's HBO show Real Time, where they all had simultaneous aneurysms.

"I hear the video's already gone virusy on YouTube!" noted Palin.

I couldn't help it and, you guessed, I giggled uncontrollably.