Dancing and/or Drinking

As reported by the always funny Cap News and adapted, as always, to Anderson Cooper by Peter.

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Fox Greenlights "Drinking With The Stars"

HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - Reporting from West Hollywood, this is Anderson Cooper. Fox has given the okay to begin production on the pilot for Drinking With The Stars... Drinking? I had to ask twice because I though I might have heard wrong. But no, I heard right the first time, it is "Drinking! With The Stars" -- the exclamation is mine. Yet another of the network's spoof-like reality shows, as if we needed another reality show. This one is a direct spin-off of ABC's wildly popular hit, "Dancing With The Stars," which has been gracing [laughs] the airwaves since the summer of 2005. Has it been that long? I guess we're having too much fun dishing them.

I spoke with Pat Malham, Fox TV Distribution Services Coordinator who was kind enough to let me interview him, being that I'm from a competitor TV station. I guess they need the free advertisement, they need as much exposure as they can get -- gag me with your bandana! He told me, "When football season winds to a close, we're looking for new ideas to engage those fans who have given us hours of their time each week," he said, "So when Rocket Science Labs approached us with this idea, we were gung-ho." "Rocket Science?" I thought, "only Rocket Science would be interested in something like this. What is Rocket Science, anyway?" I didn't ask out loud, I didn't want to seem more naive than Fox already think I am. The Fools.

To keep you informed: Drinking With The Stars pairs up some of the nation's heaviest drinkers with celebrity counterparts, lets the alcohol flow, and turns on the microphones. Contestants will be judged on a variety of physical and mental challenges based on how much they drink, with one pair being voted off each week until just one pair remains.

"To be clear, this is not a show just about how much beer can you down," Malham told me with an air of smartness not seen since Bush left office. "Contestants will need to show skill across a wide range of alcoholic beverages. This show is about dexterity and fortitude, not glut."

Malham said he expects there to be plenty of laughs throughout each episode as the contestants are free to talk about whatever they'd like while they're drinking and competing. As such, he said the show won't be "for the faint of heart, or Jews... or Mexicans."

Malham told me that a number of celebrities have already agreed to appear on the first season of the show, including, get this, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton, Tom Wopat and Mike Tyson, among others "fools" I thought. Sports stars Koren Robinson and Marcus Coleman are expected to help round out the celebrity cast of 16, although they have not yet officially signed on to appear. And perhaps never will. That last sentence is my own remark [laughs].

Now, get this: Robin Williams has been tapped as the show's host, the first episode of which is set to air immediately following the Pro Bowl at the end of the regular NFL season.

Good luck Fox, I was never so glad I worked at CNN than at the end of this stupid interview. Thank God is over and I hope it never airs.