Bush's Good Ratings

From CAP News as adapted for "Thoroughly Anderson Cooper" by Peter

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President Bush Approval Rating Continues To Climb

CRAWFORD, Tex. (CAP) - A new poll conducted by CNN/CAP News/French's Mustard finds that President George W Bush's approval rating is at an eight-year high, eclipsing the 80 percent mark for the first time since he choked on a pretzel in early 2002. Supporters credit Bush's disappearing act back in January with the meteoric rise.

"What this means is that more and more people like the job that Bush is doing as an ex-president," CAP News political analyst Fuad Reveiz tols CNN's AC360° anchorman Anderson Cooper. "Clearing brush, reading the morning paper, riding his horsey around his ranch - he does these things very well."

"Unlike those yams Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton," Mr. Reveiz added. "Bush is keeping his big trap shut and it's reflecting in the polls,"

While Bush wrapped up his stint in the White House with the lowest approval rating ever for a departing president, an overwhelming 81 percent of those polled said the 43rd president "really turned a corner" after he left office. One respondent told CAP News he was pleased with Bush's decision to tip his paperboy an extra 50 cents after a particularly bad rain storm.

"It's the little things, you know?" an employee at the Blockbuster Video in nearby Waco told Anderson. "I don't think he's had a single late rental return since he moved back here. That's really saying something."

"And he almost always remembers to rewind his tapes," said another employee. "Except that Milo And Otis - we had to rewind that one. Cost him a dollar and he didn't even mind payin'."

Of the 19 percent who still don't approve of the job Bush is doing, many blamed the former commander-in-chief's constant smirk for casting doubt on his sincerity with everything from the weather ("Looks like it's gonna stormulate, heh heh") to Sunday church services ("Nice sermonization there, pastor, heh heh") to the quality of fresh produce at the local grocery store ("I've got to try me some of that cold rabbi, heh heh").

"We're a garden gnome type of community, and he all comes back here with his fancy-ass pink flamingo attitude and chaise lounge demeanor?" Mr. Besticula, one neighbor who asked not to be identified, told Anderson. "I don't care if y'all were the president of the United States, you water your lawn by hand every other day just like the rest of us. 'Nuff said."

Bush's approval rating has climbed consistently since leaving office, with the exception of two periods over the summer, which happened to coincide with visits from Dick Cheney. Neighbors complained about the excessive noise both times and said they found the former vice president passed out on Bush's front lawn after an all-night bender.