Thomas Naples
Freelance journalist and senior at Cornell University
On Coming Out
Posted: 08/09/2012 -- 7:37 pm
I was inspired to write my first Huffington Post piece ("Addiction & Mental Illness: My Quarter-Life Crisis") by Anderson Cooper's coming out. When I read "the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible" in his letter to The Daily Beast's Andrew Sullivan, I thought, "Yes, what I can do to help?" So I wrote that post, and here we are.
It makes me sad and frustrated that anyone needs to "come out" at all. I had this conversation with my sister when I came out to her, and we agreed that I shouldn't have to come out to anyone unless I want to. However, I realize now that being "out" to family, friends, colleagues, professors, the Internet, etc. helps them get to know me and helps me be more comfortable with the way I am. And being honest about my recovery from addiction and mental illness opens up a constructive dialogue, one that I don't think we have often enough. I often ask myself why we have to "come out," and I think the answer is that society needs to place labels on people. These labels, like "gay," "queer" and "fag" (I hate that last one), help people to be less uncomfortable with us; they can file us away in their "to hate on" folder and hopefully get on with their lives. Then again, I may have already answered my own question: We "come out" so that other people can know us better and so that we can better know ourselves.
After "Addiction & Mental Illness: My Quarter-Life Crisis" went up, I received comments, Tweets, and emails expressing feelings of kinship. I already knew, and this has been reaffirmed, that there are many people out there who have been through similar experiences. Although I wouldn't flatter myself so much as to say that I hope to be a voice for gay people, addicts, or the mentally ill, I will say that I hope people who share these characteristics will speak up and let others know that they are not alone, that they are not afraid, and that they are ready to let their voices be heard.
In closing, I will refer back to Anderson Cooper's coming-out letter. In it he writes:
- I have always been very open and honest about this part of my life with my friends, my family, and my colleagues. In a perfect world, I don't think it's anyone else's business, but I do think there is value in standing up and being counted. I'm not an activist, but I am a human being and I don't give that up by being a journalist.
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