Twitter Jack

March 26, 2009

Just between you and me and Twitter

Posted: 09:49 AM ET

Jack Gray
AC360° Producer/Writer

I never thought I’d say this but…I like Twitter. It’s kind of fun. Not fun in the “Larry King just arrived and he brought a bottle of Stoli Vanilla” kind of way, but fun nevertheless.

Sure, I was skeptical at first. Not Rick Sanchez and that Twitter thing again, ugh, what channel is Ellen on?

I just didn’t get it. I thought it was one of those things that’d be popular for a week and peak with an item on Entertainment Tonight that began with, “Lindsay Lohan announced on her Twitter page today that she’s been kicked off Dancing with the Stars.” And, as far as I was concerned, that would be the end of it.

But – just like with the directions I gave to a group of Danish tourists on the subway yesterday – I was wrong: Twitter is here to stay and, it turns out, is perfect for people, like me, who find that traditional forms of communication like phone calls and emails take up valuable time that could otherwise be spent watching Judge Judy.

Indeed, the great thing about Twitter is that it forces you to cram your thoughts into a maximum of 140 characters. In other words, 120 characters more interesting than my life is on any given day.

Of course, some of my friends don’t understand Twitter. That’s fine, they never understood me anyway. Go ahead – build your careers, raise your families, donate your time to charitable causes. It’s not my fault you think only of yourselves. I’m focused on the important things in life like notifying strangers when I sneeze and chronicling my War Against Fanny Packs. Not to mention keeping up with the lives of Soleil Moon Frye and MC Hammer.

And sure, there are the traditionalists for whom handwritten letters are still the preferred method of correspondence. But, personally, I feel calligraphy on scented stationery lacks the thoughtfulness and heartfelt sentiment of: “OMG, thx for the $$ grandma. U r gr8. Can’t wait 2 c u soon. Luv, Jack.”

Additionally, Twitter is great in case of emergency. It’s saved Erica Hill from a bad home perm on more than one occasion. And if only it had been around when I was stuck in line at Sbarro then that whole unpleasantness could have been avoided.

I actually think I’m going to soon cut off all forms of communication except for Twitter. I mean, I have a phone, but all I get are calls from bill collectors and jilted lovers. (Not because I’m late on any payments but because I only date bill collectors.)

By the way, my Twitter username is @jackgraycnn. Which, in retrospect, is rather uninspired. I regret not going with my gut and choosing @olivegardenfan or @myfootisasleep.

I suppose there is still a chance that Twitter might wind up being just a fad. I don’t know. I’m not good at predicting things. Every year I’m convinced Steven Seagal is going to be nominated for an Oscar.

Anyway, for now, I’m going to stick with Twitter. Sure, at times it can be confusing and even downright creepy. But, hey, I’m used to both those things. After all, I live in New York.

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Follow Jack Gray on Twitter