Bat & Robin Gay?

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Recently discovered film footage deleted from an episode of the old Batman
series lends credence to the idea that Batman and Robin may
have done more than just fight crime together.
GOTHAM CITY (CAP) (CNN) (P.E.T.E.R.) - Hello, this is Anderson Cooper reporting for Anderson Cooper 360º from New York... Oh, yeah... Gotham, from Gotham City, the city protected by that lovely duo, Batman and his lov... e-er... sidekick, Robin... and me, of course. I'm always ready to help the lovely duo in anything they might need. But I digress...

Superman attests that he saw Bat & Rob, as he calls them, kissing at his 43rd Birthday party last June 3rd.

On with the news: Over 50 years after psychologist Fredric Wertham first proposed the idea that masked superheroes Batman and Robin most surely were gay, questions started to swirl around the sexual preference of the caped crusaders. Mr. Wertham asked me too but I told him that my private life was precisely that, private. He frowned and continued explaining that despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder continue to claim they're "just good friends." You know, BFF as they text nowadays -- it took me two months to figure out what BFF meant, I was too intimidated to ask until Erica Hill, remember her... sweet Erica, she explained life to me without making me feel more dumb. She defined to me what "BFF" meant and what "Boo" meant too, remember?

"Why people would think Robin and I are gay has always been beyond me," Batman told me through a videophone conference from his Batcave. I noticed him polishing his hard rubber codpiece while Robin just smiled his beautiful white teeth, wide smile. I must admit, I probably got all red on the face. The other reporter at the video conference, a certain Mr. Kent who would not give me his phone... e-er, first name, started perspiring visibly.

Finally Robin concurred, "Batman and I have a long history of fighting crime together, but in a very rugged, manly way," he said. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to slip into my lo-rise kelly green briefs and torso-hugging yellow-laced bodice."

In addition to being linked to each other, Batman and Robin have been separately linked to several others among the Gotham City glitterati, including the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, Egghead and Alfred the butler; but never to Catwoman or Major Ed Kosh.

"Really, is there anyone in that city who's not gay?" questioned Mr. Kent, the mild-mannered reporter for the Metropolis Daily Planet who insisted not to be identified -- nor to be called s(h)urely.

A spokesman for the Joker disagreed, noting that "just because someone dresses head to toe in magenta does not make him gay," adding however that his client will admit to being "faaa-bu-lous."

Four years ago Batwoman came out of the closet, and masked superhero insiders predicted that the announcement would lead to a similar disclosure from her fellow crime fighters - but that declaration never came.

The revelation about Batwoman, meanwhile, sent shock waves throughout the superhero community back in 2006, where it was widely believed that the only gay super heroines were Catwoman, Wonder Woman, She-Hulk, Black Widow, Supergirl, the Scarlet Witch and Chastity Bono. And, oh, they were wrong.