Thursday, April 30, 2009
Whine Flu
Adapted from CAP News. Thanks Cap News.
New Strain Of Whine Flu Deemed "Unstoppable"
ATLANTA (CAP) - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has confirmed that a new non-resistant strain of the whine flu is affecting hundreds, if not thousands of children across dozens of states. CDC officials say the numbers are likely to grow as more parents come forward to acknowledge that their households have been infected.
"What we're seeing here is a kind of super whine flu that hits earlier than previous strains had, comes on stronger, and stays longer," said CNN journalist Anderson Cooper, who is under observation by his co-work and friend Dr. Sanjay Gupta. "Whereas older versions of whine flu may have stuck around for a few years, in many cases this new strain is afflicting kids until they are well into their teens.
"The studies right now are incomplete, but it appears some of these cases of whine flu may actually manifest in an adult form as well, although in the adult cases it's named Wine Flu just to distinguish it from the children's flu." added Cooper.
Researchers say parents are key to helping keep the spread of the disease in check, noting that greater exposure in daycare settings and play groups is leading to earlier onset of whine flu - often long before parents have had the time to build up the necessary antibodies to combat the illness. And without those antibodies, parents are unable to cure the mild cases of whine flu, which just makes the illness come on even stronger and that much more resistant to any treatment methods.
In a few isolated incidents, prolonged exposure to this strain of whine flu has even led to cases of mad mom disease -- or ended in divorce.
"What's concerning about this particular strain is the ease and speed with which it hits," said Anderson Cooper channeling Dr. Sanjay Gupta. "One bad night's sleep can bring about a three-day bout with the illness, further exacerbated by not being able to stay up late to watch my show, Anderson Cooper 360º, having to take a cold bath, or even having to eat vegetables.
"We simply can't put our finger on the exact cause," Cooper added. "It's almost as if given the right circumstances, anything and everything can trigger an episode of whine flu. It's uncanny."
CDC officials have likened this whine flu epidemic to the great Cooties outbreak of 2006, during which over 100 children across eight states were infected. However, they say it is still far short of the nation's ongoing battle with the drug-resistant disease Iocusitis.
"The biggest mistake anyone can make is to think that because they don't have kids, this doesn't affect them," said Anderson Cooper. "But if you go to malls, if you eat in restaurants, if you live in a neighborhood - you are very much at risk, or so told me Gupta.
"If you think second-hand smoke is the worst thing that can affect your health, then you haven't seen the worst of the whine flu," Cooper remarked.
While there are no known preventative measures for whine flu, the CDC is working with hospitals and care clinics throughout the country to distribute ear plugs to parents in order to minimize any side effects due to accidental exposure.
New Strain Of Whine Flu Deemed "Unstoppable"ATLANTA (CAP) - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has confirmed that a new non-resistant strain of the whine flu is affecting hundreds, if not thousands of children across dozens of states. CDC officials say the numbers are likely to grow as more parents come forward to acknowledge that their households have been infected.
"What we're seeing here is a kind of super whine flu that hits earlier than previous strains had, comes on stronger, and stays longer," said CNN journalist Anderson Cooper, who is under observation by his co-work and friend Dr. Sanjay Gupta. "Whereas older versions of whine flu may have stuck around for a few years, in many cases this new strain is afflicting kids until they are well into their teens.
"The studies right now are incomplete, but it appears some of these cases of whine flu may actually manifest in an adult form as well, although in the adult cases it's named Wine Flu just to distinguish it from the children's flu." added Cooper.
Researchers say parents are key to helping keep the spread of the disease in check, noting that greater exposure in daycare settings and play groups is leading to earlier onset of whine flu - often long before parents have had the time to build up the necessary antibodies to combat the illness. And without those antibodies, parents are unable to cure the mild cases of whine flu, which just makes the illness come on even stronger and that much more resistant to any treatment methods.
In a few isolated incidents, prolonged exposure to this strain of whine flu has even led to cases of mad mom disease -- or ended in divorce.
"What's concerning about this particular strain is the ease and speed with which it hits," said Anderson Cooper channeling Dr. Sanjay Gupta. "One bad night's sleep can bring about a three-day bout with the illness, further exacerbated by not being able to stay up late to watch my show, Anderson Cooper 360º, having to take a cold bath, or even having to eat vegetables.
"We simply can't put our finger on the exact cause," Cooper added. "It's almost as if given the right circumstances, anything and everything can trigger an episode of whine flu. It's uncanny."
CDC officials have likened this whine flu epidemic to the great Cooties outbreak of 2006, during which over 100 children across eight states were infected. However, they say it is still far short of the nation's ongoing battle with the drug-resistant disease Iocusitis.
"The biggest mistake anyone can make is to think that because they don't have kids, this doesn't affect them," said Anderson Cooper. "But if you go to malls, if you eat in restaurants, if you live in a neighborhood - you are very much at risk, or so told me Gupta.
"If you think second-hand smoke is the worst thing that can affect your health, then you haven't seen the worst of the whine flu," Cooper remarked.
While there are no known preventative measures for whine flu, the CDC is working with hospitals and care clinics throughout the country to distribute ear plugs to parents in order to minimize any side effects due to accidental exposure.
Don't Panic
It's only the Pig's flu, the Pirates, the Drugs coming from Mexico, the War in Iraq, the War in Afghanistan, Al-Qaeda, the Economy, the Melting Arctic, Lou Dobbs Substituting for Anderson Cooper, the PHONE RINGING!!!
Forget swine flu, I have to go get the telephone
Last modified April 30. 2009 11:25AM
So far, I'm taking the government's advice and I am not panicking about swine flu. I'm not sure just how I would panic about it actually. Stockpile anti-bacterial soap? Put duct tape on the window? Does duct tape prevent swine flu? I don't know. But I do know that I'm not going to do anything rash like forgo bacon.
The government tells us to stay calm despite the fact swine flu is "widespread." Go about your business like a good citizen, which I can do. I've been ignoring monkey pox and bird flu for years.
This "staying calm" does have a side-effect. Because I'm not panicking about the big things, I seem to have channeled my panic into the mundane. For instance, I get uneasy as we run out of dishwasher soap. I'm unsettled when Regis Philbin has a day off.
And I go into full-blown, slap-me-in-the-face panic when the phone rings. If I'm near it, I jump up and run to answer it as fast as I can. If I'm in another room, I yell nonsense. In my head, I'm calmly requesting that my offspring kindly answer the phone. My family tells me what comes out of my mouth is screaming, "GET THE PHONE! IT'S RINGING! SWEET MOTHER OF GOD HURRY! ANSWER BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" Then we miss the call and I stop screaming.
I don't know what I fear. We have an answering machine. I've been told multiple times if it's important, they'll call back. But by then, civilization surely will have ended.
My other everyday situation panic is the drive-through window. This is a two-tiered contagious drive-through panic passed from driver to passengers.
As the driver, I know the order easily could go awry if the accurate combo numbers aren't relayed clearly and quickly into the speaker. One extra pause or deviation can turn Chicken Nibblets into a Chocolate McLean Burger. As the driver, I also know I can turn a scrumptious dinner into a parade of fried disappointment. Unmitigated super-sized disaster looms at the next window.
I pass this panic to my passengers when my crazy driver's eyes dart back and forth at them. My passengers must whisper orders quickly, but not too quickly. They've learned to dare not change an order by blurting, "Wait, I want the 10 piece not the six piece!" They'll be walking home because they've doomed the mission.
But when it comes to doom and panic over swine flu, I'm not there yet.
I do know that if it spreads, it will have something to do with Dr. Sanjay Gupta. He's reporting live from a hospital in Mexico. When he returns to CNN, he needs to be quarantined from Anderson Cooper because Mr. Cooper frequently sits in with Kelly Ripa, who, in turn, could expose Regis Philbin! Then I'm going to panic. See above.
So since I'm trying to be nonchalant about pandemics and pirates, I lose it in the drive-through. Psychologists call this ...
AAAHH WAIT! I GOTTA GO! THE PHONE'S RINGING!!!
Rebecca Regnier is an award-winning television journalist. Visit her diet humor blog at www.doesthisblogmakeuslookfat.com or follow her at www.twitter.com/laughitoff.
Forget swine flu, I have to go get the telephone
Last modified April 30. 2009 11:25AM
So far, I'm taking the government's advice and I am not panicking about swine flu. I'm not sure just how I would panic about it actually. Stockpile anti-bacterial soap? Put duct tape on the window? Does duct tape prevent swine flu? I don't know. But I do know that I'm not going to do anything rash like forgo bacon.
The government tells us to stay calm despite the fact swine flu is "widespread." Go about your business like a good citizen, which I can do. I've been ignoring monkey pox and bird flu for years.
This "staying calm" does have a side-effect. Because I'm not panicking about the big things, I seem to have channeled my panic into the mundane. For instance, I get uneasy as we run out of dishwasher soap. I'm unsettled when Regis Philbin has a day off.
And I go into full-blown, slap-me-in-the-face panic when the phone rings. If I'm near it, I jump up and run to answer it as fast as I can. If I'm in another room, I yell nonsense. In my head, I'm calmly requesting that my offspring kindly answer the phone. My family tells me what comes out of my mouth is screaming, "GET THE PHONE! IT'S RINGING! SWEET MOTHER OF GOD HURRY! ANSWER BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" Then we miss the call and I stop screaming.
I don't know what I fear. We have an answering machine. I've been told multiple times if it's important, they'll call back. But by then, civilization surely will have ended.
My other everyday situation panic is the drive-through window. This is a two-tiered contagious drive-through panic passed from driver to passengers.
As the driver, I know the order easily could go awry if the accurate combo numbers aren't relayed clearly and quickly into the speaker. One extra pause or deviation can turn Chicken Nibblets into a Chocolate McLean Burger. As the driver, I also know I can turn a scrumptious dinner into a parade of fried disappointment. Unmitigated super-sized disaster looms at the next window.
I pass this panic to my passengers when my crazy driver's eyes dart back and forth at them. My passengers must whisper orders quickly, but not too quickly. They've learned to dare not change an order by blurting, "Wait, I want the 10 piece not the six piece!" They'll be walking home because they've doomed the mission.
But when it comes to doom and panic over swine flu, I'm not there yet.
I do know that if it spreads, it will have something to do with Dr. Sanjay Gupta. He's reporting live from a hospital in Mexico. When he returns to CNN, he needs to be quarantined from Anderson Cooper because Mr. Cooper frequently sits in with Kelly Ripa, who, in turn, could expose Regis Philbin! Then I'm going to panic. See above.
So since I'm trying to be nonchalant about pandemics and pirates, I lose it in the drive-through. Psychologists call this ...
AAAHH WAIT! I GOTTA GO! THE PHONE'S RINGING!!!
Rebecca Regnier is an award-winning television journalist. Visit her diet humor blog at www.doesthisblogmakeuslookfat.com or follow her at www.twitter.com/laughitoff.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Webby Awards
Now, this is tricky, there are a lot, and I mean a LOT of categories and selections within the categories, and selection after selection after selection... Once you are in the "Website" category (click the logo above) you scroll down to the "Entertainment" sub-category (this is the category they define as: "Categories of sites that seek to touch our senses, fuel our minds and stimulate our experiences." -- oh, well...) Then choose the "Broadband" selection, and there you'll find that one of the contestants is "CNN.com Video". Why "Video" when the category is "Website"? Only the Webby people know. CNN.com Videos
Thank God there is only one category in this specialty; click on the image above, "Online Film & Video." Scroll down to "News & Politics: Series" there you'll find "The Business of Green." Click on it and you'll have voted for CNN. The Business of Green(There are 29 different videos that make up this CNN entry)
If there are other categories or sub-categories or nominations for CNN, they escaped me. So please let me know if you know of other nominations.
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