How to Survive Loss with Gloria Vanderbilt
Monday, November 07, 2011
Celebrating Holidays After Death: Sheila's Christmas Stocking Tradition
Monday, November 07, 2011 -- 1:41 PM
During the holiday season, how do you honor loved ones you've lost? Do you have any special traditions?
Sheila lost her husband, Jeff, to cancer only two years ago. During the first Christmas without him, she was torn about what to do with his stocking -- should she hang it up or not? She decided to instead cut his stocking into pieces, and create small ornaments (stuffed with his favorite blanket pillow) for family members. This way, Jeff would be close to everyone during the holiday.
Since the death of Anderson's father and brother, both he and Gloria say celebrating the holidays has always been difficult.
In this clip from Monday’s show, Sheila shares her new tradition with Gloria and Anderson...
Celebrating Jeff’s Birthday
Monday, November 07, 2011 -- 10:00 AM
In this web exclusive from Monday’s show, Sheila, who lost her husband, Jeff, to cancer two years ago, tells Anderson and Gloria how she and her children celebrated his birthday, which occurred shortly after his passing.
“It was hard at times,” says 12-year-old Kyle of celebrating his father’s birthday. “Although, it was great to get out and feel good and honor him and do something fun for him.”
Take a look at this web exclusive from Monday’s show...
The Importance of Crying
Monday, November 07, 2011 -- 9:44 AM
How often do you allow yourself to cry?
Twelve-year-old Kyle, who lost his father to cancer two years ago, tells Anderson that he cries a lot and believes it's okay to cry.
Gloria couldn't agree more. "You know, when Carter died, I lay in bed and I cried and I cried, and I cried. And since then, when I cry, there are kind of very few tears left. It's a tremendous help."
Anderson, on the other had, finds it hard to cry. In this clip from Monday's show, Kyle explains to Anderson how crying is really a sign of strength.
Gloria Remembers What Upset Her When People Discussed Son's Death
Friday, November 04, 2011 -- 4:00 PM
On Monday's show, Anderson is joined by his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, for a candid discussion on dealing with the loss of a loved one.
In this preview, Anderson is joined by his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, for a candid discussion about dealing with the loss of a loved one.
On Monday's show, Anderson is joined by his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, for a candid discussion on dealing with the loss of a loved one.
In this preview, Anderson is joined by his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, for a candid discussion about dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Dr. Robin Smith's Downloadable Tips: Dealing with Grief
Monday, November 07, 2011 -- 9:45 AM
As mentioned on Monday's show, download Dr. Robin Smith's tips for dealing with grief...
by Dr. Robin L. Smith
The Do's: #1
Show up with a caring heart. Never underestimate the healing comfort of a caring heart and hand when a person is in the dungeon of loss, grief and trauma.
The Do's: #2
DARE TO CARE — Say, “I don’t know what to say, I have no words that feel worthy of your loss, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I CARE.”
The Do's: #3
Let the bereaved know, “It is my desire to support you in whatever way might bring you a moment or two of comfort.”
The Don'ts: #1
Take off your Superman/Superwoman cape and put on your human being clothes, with a caring and open heart, that’s the Superhero any grieving person ultimately needs.
The Don'ts: #2
‘I Know How You Feel’
This is a huge NO NO and often offends people, turns people off and shuts them down – they close up and won’t share how they really feel. Even when two people have suffered a similar loss, you never know how another person feels, you might know how you feel about your loss and devastation, but you don’t know how another person feels, you can only imagine their pain, isolation and emotional hell.
The Don'ts: #3
Get Rid of the Clichés
“They lived a great life,” “It was meant to be,” “They’re in a better place.” Most people want to say, “So What!” “My loved one is dead, even if they are in a better place, I want them back with me, and this nightmare could not be meant to be.” You will lose the connection and your credibility if you try to put a band-aid on a gunshot wound. These statements are often made when people don’t know what to say and are trying to be helpful.
The best thing to do is to forget trying to offer answers to questions and pains that have no answers. If you feel helpless and you want to let someone know that you care about their loss and pain, look at my tips above and realize the greatest gift you can give is to, SHOW UP with your open and caring heart, admit that you don’t know what to say (of course you don’t know what to say when tragedy and horror hit someone’s life) and let them know that you care about them and their loss, and that you will support them in any way that you can.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Monday, November 07, 2011 -- 1:00 AM
For more information, go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org
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