Decadent Decade

Naming the ’00s

By DAVID SEGAL
Published: November 14, 2009 [Sorry I am 3 weeks late. This article is still relevant.]

There are 46 days left in 2009, which means it is just about time to commence the beloved and enduring parlor game known as “Name That Decade.”

You know the rules — coin a pithy, reductive phrase that somehow encapsulates the multitude of events, trends, triumphs and calamities of the past 10 years. If you can also rope in some of the big personalities and consumer obsessions, that’s a bonus.

For the ’00s, it seems the trick will be finding a small package sturdy and flexible enough to capture so much upheaval and change. And worry — although in hindsight, it sure seems like we kept worrying about the wrong menace.

The decade began with a frenzy of fear about the Y2k millennium bug, which many technology experts said would sunder computers, crash jets and wreak havoc in every corner of the globe. As that non-emergency passed, a genuine threat quietly gathered in the form of a plot to fell the twin towers.

Later, we scoured Iraq for weapons of mass destruction, which we did not find. As we searched, we built weapons of financial chaos right here at home, with home mortgages, leverage and something called Collateralized Debt Obligations.

Fortunes and a staggering number of jobs have vanished, inflicting misery in this country and others on a scale that would surely have exceeded the most garish of Saddam’s fantasies.

So: The Era of Misplaced Anxiety?

“How about the Decade of Disruptions?” suggests Walter Isaacson, the former editor of Time magazine and author of a biography of Benjamin Franklin. “We had coasted through the ’90s with irrational exuberance. Between the fall of the Berlin Wall until the fall of the twin towers, there was nothing unnerving us. It was the decade after the cold war and it seemed like we were done with global struggles.”

“Then we get to a decade that begins with 9/11 and we realize we will be involved with a global struggle. And the decade has various financial disruptions — the dot-com bubble, Enron — culminating in the one last year. It’s been a decade as bumpy as the ’90s were blithe.”

Nicole Bengiveno/The New York Times
AT THE START Times Square greeted 2000 with a general anxiety about the havoc about to be caused by the Y2k bug. Ah, remember those carefree days?

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The rest of the long article continues, but I stopped here to make my point. To read the full article, go here: New York Times. To read my point, and I do have a point, keep reading.

I have many names for this decade, but two stand out: one is a good name, the other is an evil name:

Good Name:
"The Decade I Met Anderson Cooper"

Evil Name:
"The 8 Year Atrocious Decade of George W. Bush"

Other Good Names:
"The Anderson Cooper Decade"
"The Anderson 'Silver Fox' Cooper Decade"
"The Decade I Fell in Love With Anderson Cooper"
"The Decade The World Fell in Love With Anderson Cooper"
"The Decade Anderson Cooper Turned Almost Every Man Into a Silver Fox"
"The Anderson Cooper Fans Decade"

Other Evil Names:
"The Hateful Wars Decade of George W. Bush"
"The Decade Bush Turned Everybody Against Us!"
"The (Fake) Mission Impossible Decade"
"The Axis of Evil Decade"
"The Decade We Got AND Got Rid of George W. Bush"