Gay Divorce? It Doesn't Exist!

Christian Group Seeks Ban On Gay Divorce

BOSTON, Mass. (CAP) (CNN) (PETIN) - Hello, this is Anderson Cooper reporting from Boston, the capital of happy people and happy times. Well, almost. The Christian Coalition of America, a staunch, staunchest opponent of gay marriage, has seemingly given up that fight in favor of a new divisive tactic. The group has now begun lobbying hard against allowing gays to get divorced.

I talked to the Coalition President Roberta Combs. Her own words, "It is an affront to the institution of divorce. If they want to get married so badly, then they should stay that way. Don't be clogging up my court system with your gay marital woes."

The Coalition members in Massachusetts have begun a petition campaign to legally block same-sex divorces, claiming the wording in current state law allows for homosexuals to get together, but not to part in any way, shape or form. They hope the state Supreme Court will hear the case during their fall session. They'll be lucky if they get the attention anytime before the fall of (the American Empire. Just kidding), before the fall of the year 2012 -- and you know what they say about that year in the Maya Calendar... Pffft! Kaput. Nothing beyond that year, or has the Mayans used to say: nada.

At this time another person intervened -- but I couldn't tell if he was a he or a she. "Listen," it said, "they wanna get married, I'm actually okay with that."

And you are? I asked.

"I'm anti-gay activist Jaleel Philips. And as I was saying. Keep 'em outta my hair. But they wanna get divorced, then they're back on the streets, spreading their fairs and whatnot. I'm not down with that."

"Proponents of gay divorce," said Mr./Ms. Philips "doesn't hold water because much like their heterosexual counterparts, they also like to cheat on their spouses, giving them ample opportunity to spread fears and whatnot even while married."

When reached for comment, government officials denied any knowledge of gays or lesbians actually living in Massachusetts. And that, my dear admirers, like I always say, we report, you decide.

Comments

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My comment:

Gay divorce? Who cares about gay divorce. I, as a gay male, I can tell you that we gay people may decide to get married, but when we decide not to be married anymore, we just go on our own way and forget about that paper they gave us when we got married.

And, if we want to make the same mistake and marry again to some other guy, we just don't mention the first marriage and go on with the ceremonies, who cares about the first husband. One day after the separation I would be partying, cruising and picking up guys as I did during the last month of my marriage.

Let the Christian groups waste their time and money fighting "our" right to divorce, I hope they go bankrupt trying.

And by the way, I am not only gay, but I am from another planet called Garamatea, you know, in the vicinity of Magrotea, about 10 light years from Terra (Earth). So I'm fooling your little code thingy below. But I assure you all, that I come in peace. Do Not, I repeat, DO NOT believe a single thing you see and hear on that new TV program called "V" silly name, isn't it?

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But I guess they didn't like what I said because I tried 3 times and I kept getting the same message:

"We can't post your comments in their current form because you failed to enter the security code correctly. Please hit the [back] button on your browser and try again. Thanks!"

Thanks!? Thanks?! For what?!! They didn't let my message through, perhaps they didn't like it that I was not from Terra but from Garamatea... Or that I party too much! Go figure.

UPDATE: I just went to the "Comments" section of the article and, guess what? My comment was posted three times! The same message three times! How embarrassing! So, after all I guess they did like my comment TOO much. Thanks CAPy, thank you from a silly Gay Garamatean.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I am an American citizen now. I just told them that I came from México and they believed me. Just don't spread the word too loud, okay?