For Crying Out Loud...

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Really, FOR Crying Out Loud.

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Don't shed a tear over grown men crying

Published: 12:21 a.m., Saturday, December 18, 2010

"For crying out loud, let the guy cry out loud! Where's the harm in that?" said Anderson Cooper on his CNN news show "AC360."

You tell `em Anderson baby. Who are these people who say a soon-to-be Speaker of the House of Representatives has no business breaking down in tears when he sees children in a schoolyard or thinks of how he started as a janitor on the night shift.

Yes sir, John Boehner, when you feel like blubbering in public you go right ahead and do it. Just let it out. Let that Joy Behar call you "Weeper of the House."

Bad puns like that are the reason she never got an HBO special. Contorting your face like the CIA had upped the juice on the electrodes causing you to talk like Bugs Bunny on helium during your "60 Minutes" chat with Leslie Stahl is nothing to be ashamed of.

Look at all the great men of history who have cried in public: Aristotle, Humphrey Bogart, Caesar Augustus, Edward G. Robinson, Hulk Hogan, Gen. George S. Patton, Ivan The Terrible and Hitler.

Okay, I really have no proof any of those guys cried in public, but I am totally confident that if they were not actually witnessed crying, they just did a very good job of hiding it.

My guess is that Caesar Augustus blubbered all over his toga when some interviewer brought up the fact that despite being adopted he rose up to be Rome's first emperor? And if he were not already dead he surely would have cried with joy when he was officially declared a god.

Let me tell you a little story. I first became aware that I had a serious crying problem while watching afternoon reruns of "Make Room for Daddy" starring Danny Thomas. As far as I can remember the show had only one basic plot line in the 11 years in ran on television. Danny would do some dumb thing that would cause his cute, redheaded son, Rusty, played by Rusty Hamer, to loose faith in him. Just before the show ended Danny came to his senses, embrace Rusty and say something like "Aw, Rusty, I'm sorry. I love you with all my heart" to which Rusty would reply "Golly, Dad, for a while there I thought you didn't like me."

When everything was straightened out, the maid would make wisecracks about Danny's underwear. The show ended with everybody laughing heartily.

No matter how many times I watched that sappy scenario play out, when Danny apologized to Rusty, I'd get a lump in my throat and tear up. Oh the shame of it.

Thank the Lord I was usually alone in the room. If there were someone else there I'd do an over-emoted yawn, pretending to be so bored I could not stand it, meantime swiping the hot tears off my cheeks with a sweep of my sleeve.

If the Democrats start making a big thing about the crying in the next Congress, instead of trying to quit cold turkey, try the gradual approach. Buy a few DVDs of the "Make Room for Daddy" episodes. When you can get through one dry-faced you will be ready to take the next step to movies like "Bambi," "The Yearling" and "The Fighting Sullivans." In just days you will be striding past schoolyards, your tissue box back in the car.

Contact Charles Walsh at cwalsh@ctpost.com.